An Unplanned Gift: Alex’s Story

The Grace Centre for Mercy & Justice, formerly known as Hope Toronto, is the means through which Grace Toronto Church educates, equips, and empowers individuals to love and serve the city of Toronto. GCMJ works with a variety of affiliate partners throughout the city of Toronto, including the Pregnancy Care Centre.

The Pregnancy Care Centre (PCC) exists to provide compassionate community support to women and families facing unexpected pregnancies so they can thrive without seeing abortion as their only option. In 2009, Grace Toronto entered into a ministry agreement to work together with the Pregnancy Care Centre so that more families could thrive in supportive communities. Grace Toronto is one of the churches serving in the PCC’s First Response Network, which has a team of trained members who extend hospitality, care and love to families seeking support.

Read Alex's story to learn about the work of the PCC and the difference that love and support can make in someone's life.

Alex’s story

I was born into a Christian family, so I grew up knowing Jesus and going to church. My family was very involved in our church since my dad was the Pastor of Outreach and Evangelism. Prior to attending university, I regularly volunteered at a food bank and worked at a faith-based summer camp, but when I went to university I walked away from my faith. Instead, I wanted to party, drink, and just have fun. I thought Christianity was boring and I didn’t want to miss out on life. At church, there had been very little teaching on sex, and most of the teaching was about abstinence and honouring God with our bodies. It was a topic that was not discussed very often. 

One month, I missed my period and I became terrified. I thought, “I can’t be pregnant, not me!” I bought a pregnancy test and did it while my parents were out. Those five minutes of waiting were some of the longest minutes of my life. When it showed that I was pregnant, I was devastated. How was I going to explain the results to my parents and friends? Did I want to keep the baby or have an abortion? I had no idea what to do. It felt like the floor had been ripped out from under me. The first person I told was my sister. I explained to her that I was pregnant and that I wanted to get an abortion, so I asked her not to tell my parents. My sister is a strong Christian and she got very upset. She begged me to talk to my parents and not to get an abortion. I just wanted my pregnancy to go away. I didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted my life to be normal again. I ended up telling my parents and they were both shocked and devastated. My mom started to cry, and my dad didn’t know what to say. It was one of the toughest moments we had ever experienced as a family. While my parents didn’t understand my desire to have an abortion, they were loving and supportive throughout my pregnancy, and that was a huge blessing.

Facing my fears

One of my biggest fears was having people find out I was pregnant and judge me. I didn’t want people to condemn me for being pregnant, especially my church family. My mom and I went to see my family doctor. She recommended that I speak to someone at the Pregnancy Care Centre (PCC) before making any decisions about my baby. This was the first time I had heard about the PCC, so I decided that I would go and get more information about the options I had. I was very nervous going to my first appointment because my life had been in turmoil since finding out about my pregnancy. I was very confused by the many choices and decisions I needed to make. I felt overwhelmed.

Graciously, the PCC staff walked through all these decisions with me. As I spoke with them, it became clear to me that the decisions I had made were not my baby’s fault. My baby deserved life, so how could I make the decision to take that away from him or her? The next decision I faced was whether to go through adoption or parenting. I ultimately decided to parent because I felt that with the support of my own parents, I could offer my baby a life full of love.

Telling the church community

As I journeyed through my pregnancy, I eventually told people at my church that I was pregnant. Their reactions were very different from what I expected. My church family made the decision to love on me; they did not judge or condemn me. They were shocked at first, but they still journeyed alongside me and even went so far as to throw me a baby shower. Having a community of people who accepted me despite my circumstances was incredible and truly life-changing. Jesus said, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35).

My church family did not accept or ignore my sin of having sex outside of marriage, but they did love me despite my sin. This love was instrumental in my decision to accept Jesus back into my life and repent of my sin. So, deciding to parent was the best decision of my life. My daughter Aaliyah is the best gift that God has given me. Since having Aaliyah, my outlook on life has changed for the better. It has been a time of reflection on how I should be living. I can see now how God pursued me during my pregnancy and when I chose life for Aaliyah, I also chose life for myself. My faith has grown throughout my pregnancy and I have experienced God’s mercy and forgiveness. I think that one of the most important things that the church can do to rally around single parents is to love them. I encourage church members to go out of their way to talk to them and offer help in any way they need. From my experience, a person who is going through an unexpected pregnancy feels a lot of guilt and shame, and they do not need people to heap more of that on them. We are all sinners and it is by God’s grace we are forgiven. I ask you to extend that same grace to those going through unexpected pregnancies.