Dentist Chair Confession

The truth is, I have never flossed.
Not even once.

I brush carelessly.
I love Coke and Dr Pepper.

And there are other things I have done and not done,
so I’ll take this chance—

When I was two,
I coloured my face with red lipstick.

We made the Berenstain Bears out of blue playdough, 
and gave each one a slow, blue death.

And I thought I would like paintball,
but it turned out I was afraid of the dark, and the paint.

I joined the swim team for love of my French teacher, 
and the hope to please her.

And I thought I wanted a single dorm at college,
but I got Friday nights alone, and chess against the computer.

And chess was a headache with a migraine heartache 
when I lost my queen.

And my degree turned out to have no uses,
except to show I can go five years in the wrong direction.

One time in Kingston I smiled at the grocery clerk—
she says “your teeth are so nice.”

I say, “Thanks.” 
But then I walk away with chips and pop-tarts

and know I have done nothing 
to deserve this compliment. Because

only after 40 years of wandering
do I know the truth: that I never knew a thing—

not one damn thing. And all I got are straight teeth
by luck.

Text: Jeffrey Hynds